Feeling During a HYPOMANIA…

At the moment I’m totally addicted to the net-world. I’m just in a hypomania. I feel very very well. But every day I think my mood will turn into a mania or a depression. At the moment I’m able to take my medication, but every day I am thinking about not taking them or about not needing them. At the moment my experiences with my bipolar disorder tell me, there is a need to take them. I’m sleeping almost enough to recover. During the day I’m so twitchy, it is very hard to have myself under control. There are so many ideas in my mind, so my brain is crashing half-hourly. Then I’ve to lean back and take a break. This ist the only way to resolve my mood-crash but often it doesn’t work.At the moment I’m not able to concentrate an one thing – there are three or five things I try to do at the same time. Currently I’m creating my own homepage, then quickly I switch to my twitter-account for wellcoming new followers, the next moment I see a new site including an interestig articel about bipolar disorder and I’ve quickly to translate it from English to German. Then the facebook-site is waiting for actualisation and my work in houshould should be done. By now I speedly clean the kitchen and do my laundry all in order to land back fast in the net-world.

I’m fading out that the bathroom should be cleaned or the laundry should be ironed since two weeks. In the meantime we, my husband and I, need something to eat. And I’ve to give some signs of love to my husband, Hannes. Then the roller coaster goes on in social networking. Yes … and there is tumblr and instagram and google+ … Nearby the TV is running. Hannes is commenting some filmes and I’ve to do the same.

The minutes, the hours and the days are flying away with the speed of light. Barely I’m breathing. And … there is a new app on my handy telling me every hour to drink something. Without the app, I’d forget to drink. Next I’ve to check my E-Mails … I’ve to answer … and … pffft … CRASH … BREAK …

© Maria Fasching

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