Actually I discover now that we’ve never been really close to us. We believed it, but it wasn’t so. Each of us lived his own life. Once we have seen each other, we are freaking out with joy at seeing us … my brother and I. But … actually he had only his activities and his goals in his mind. He was not really interested in others or me.
Very enthusiastic he was. And that gave him a positive attitude. But this has nothing to do with a genuine interest in the other.
When I look at somebody as my friend, then I ask questions and try to know him better. I think ab out him, try to understand him. I have to control, if I’ve understood him in the right way. And it needs time. Real friendship needs a lot of time and has to be cultivated. Then confidence can grow up and deep feelings of joy about the friendship are caused by this.
This is reflected in the intensity of the conversations. Once I was able to witness an unique conversation. Two famous scientists talked about their research results. If the one said something the other listened attentively. If he had ended, the other made a summary of that what have been said and asked whether he had correctly understood and then he spoke about his researches and opinions. When he had then ended, the other made the same.
It was such a peaceful conversation, despite the ever-recurring disagreements. That was real attention and genuine interest in the way of thinking of the other. And it was a pleasure to listen to the both. This way of communicating had a momentum that was passed on to the listener.
Today I don’t want to spend time to superficial people. They steal my time and usually after such a communication remains a stale aftertaste and a sense of wasted time.
© Maria Fasching