Suddenly I have changed…

dsc00006I realize that I’m changing. Good change? Bad change? … I don’t know. Suddenly I can … I am able to reject someone who hurts me … at that moment if it’s necessary … I send the malicious signals back to the person who has sent the injury … so it could be right. Such a rejection feels good. By this way I protect my insight from danger and injuries. Bullets from outside bounce off me – I’ve built a big wall.

What have I done wrong?

Wrong Thinking – Number 1:
EVERYONE HAS A GOOD CORE.
Today my experiences show me that it is not so. There are really bad people in the world who do not want to be good. In ancient biblical times, god brought a flood upon the bad people. He would never have done this, if there would be a good core in every people. Only he knows the hearts.

Wrong Thinking – Number 2:
I HAVE TO GIVE ALL MY LOVE AND INDULGENCE TO MALICIOUS PEOPLE.
I do only partially. God says: „Be angry but do not sin.“ That means, I may be angry, it depends on what I’m doing with this fury. I sometimes get fury. But there is another important vers in the bible: „Love covers a multitude of sins.“ Only to people who are close to me, I react in a positive way, when there comes a negative behaviour from them.

Wrong Thinking – Number 3:
I LET EVERY PEOPLE APPROACH ME, UNFILTERED.
No more I do this. I choose very carefully who I leave up to me. I look at the personalities very closely. Later I decide whether that person is right for me or not.

And now?

I prefer very precise boundaries around me and I defend my borders well. In my flower garden just people who really love me and my special kind of flowers come in. They have to love me, pay attention to me and respect me and my flowers. And they have to be really interested in me and my garden.

Occasionally there are people who ask questions and are interested in each other and are willing to listen.

But most people are busy with their self-promotion. If then such people make questions, they do so only in order to draw attention back to them. These are the worst ones.

Did I change?
Yes, I am no longer the same as before.
Suddenly I have changed…

© Text and Image Maria Fasching

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